How Sweet

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where I would be without you in my life.

The last time June 11th fell on a Saturday, I woke up single and went to bed with a new last name. That's a lot of change in the span of a day.

Last year's anniversary was not so happy an occasion. June 11 was the day I landed in Virginia with the remains of all my worldly possessions crammed into my little Saturn. My kid and my dog were heaped on top of the luggage in the back. We pulled into the driveway of my parents' house where my husband was waiting for me. We had no jobs, no home, no idea what would become of us. The word "divorce" had not yet joined the family, but it was banging on the door.

Now, we are both well employed and our son has two loving homes.

That's a lot of change in the span of  a year.

Today, I am waking up to a wide-open morning at the beginning of a four-day weekend with my kid. I could not imagine on that sweltering Saturday in 2005 the activities comprising this life now. I had not yet met some of the people I cherish most today. One of them will be crawling into my bed with a giant grin and a pile of books a little after sunrise this morning.

In six years, a person can become only a faint reflection of a former self. So can a date. Anniversaries reside in memory, after all. The day itself is just a square on a calendar, coming around year after year, full of new possibility.

One thing I recall about our wedding was the music. The entire assembled mass rose to its feet to sing along while my friend, Robyn, filled the field with the chords of James Taylor's "How Sweet It Is." My uncle had suffered a stroke a few years earlier and had lost all but five words. When the melody began, he opened his mouth and sang right along. The lyrics had planted themselves so deeply in his memory, they bypassed language and moved directly to voice.

The mind has a way of re-configuring itself to take on the world as it is. This adaptive capacity is the key to survival. (A song now and then don't hurt).

The next time June 11th falls on a Saturday, who knows what my name will be? My address, my line of work? I make my plans but keep nimble. It is hard to be angry or even very sad when it is so clear this is just one chapter in a grand adventure. It helps to have a chatty, dancing, 4-foot reminder of the real reason to celebrate this anniversary. No matter how broken I feel, I always manage to find a song.

We are all imperfect creatures, and we are all doing our best. The man I married was as generous in his love as he knew how to be. Whether it's because of Tee or my own dumb luck or that fickle bastard, Fate, all happens to well on this summer day. For that, a little gratitude is in order.

I just want to stop
and thank you baby